


He Kissed My Lips, I Taste Your Mouth

by ProfessorRiverSnog



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, F/M, Love, Miscommunication, Mistakes, Pain, Rated M for later Chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-05 21:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17332394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProfessorRiverSnog/pseuds/ProfessorRiverSnog
Summary: She tried to feel his hands as they caressed her skin. Willed herself to open her eyes to see the blue orbs staring back at her. She tried to melt into his large frame over her. But where there were smooth palms, she imagined callous. The frame was the same lean frame that pressed against her in her dreams. And the eyes she saw in her mind were the same sharp green ones that she had yearned to see ever since that cold December morning on a dock





	1. The Ripest Ones Still Have Seed

        The issue of Spellbound laid open on her kitchen table. She never intended to read it. Honestly it would have continued to lay unnoticed if she had not seen the familiar face of a particular English gentleman on the cover. She tore through the pages of the magazine with the same eagerness that she had when receiving a new letter from across the seas. Her expression lit up at the sight of him. The moving picture showcased a man in a bookstore looking meek but proud along with two other figures. She laughed gently to herself, already beginning to think of the teasing remarks she would make in her next letter, when her eyes came across the captions. Her face fell and the pit of her stomach dropped as her eyes flashed over the words. _Engaged to Leta Lestrange_.

       The weight of the news was like an anvil on her chest. She leaned back and tried to process the words she had just read. _He’s engaged_. Her mind flashed to the countless conversations over cocoa following the events of his last trip. Steady gazes into deep green eyes. Gentle brushes of calloused fingers over soft knuckles. _He’s engaged_. A grey dock on a cold December morning. A brush against her cheek. A promise to return. A denial of the woman in his case. _He’s engaged_. Countless letters recounting their days, his of book signings and hers of cases. Details of his “mundane” acts that never fail to make her smile. _He’s engaged_. The realization rose like bile in her throat. He had sweet talked her. He had shown her a new side to him and made her hope for something more. He had lied to her.

        And like a fool she fell for every word. She felt the hot tears of anger and embarrassment begin to form. She chewed her lip as she wiped them away. Rising from her chair Tina made her way her bedroom and the nightstand that separated her side of the room from her sister’s. Flinging the drawer open she searched until her hands wrapped around the bundle of papers she sought. She pulled them out, fingers tracing the edges of the envelopes. Having read each letter to the point of memory, she poured over the words he had used to woo her. Her breath caught in her throat as she levitated the letters into the air. She swallowed hard, her angry tears finally falling as she watched her hope float in mid-air.

       “ _Incendio_ ” she whispered and the papers burst into flames.

        No one makes a fool of Tina Goldstein.


	2. Tons of Fish in the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the gloom of the evening there is always a sunrise on the horizon.

      It had been 3 weeks since she had stopped receiving his letters. It had taken him less time than she had anticipated to take the hint from her lack of response. Every letter that came to her from a tawny brown owl was promptly thrown into her fireplace. She didn’t even bother to read them anymore. Whether he took offence to her lack of responses or perhaps the owl had communicated what he saw (she honestly wouldn’t be shocked if the Magizoologist could actually speak to animals rather than understand their mannerisms) was no matter. The point was that he understood her message. She never wanted to speak to him again.

      There were times where she was tempted of course. She’d come home from an exceptionally long day, wine in hand as she paced the empty apartment, and the strange desire would unfurl in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to delve deep into his world. Wanted the latest update to a life that he coined “mediocre at best”. There were times that she actually got close, her hand in the nightstand drawer, before she remembered. The picture. The caption. And the searing pain and anger resurfaced. That would always be her cue for a second glass.

      The evening was, as expected, the worst time for her. Since being placed back on the investigative team at MACUSA her days were filled with cases and runs. She rarely thought about him simply because she didn’t have time to. She barely sat for lunch much less to sit and dwell on her hurt feelings. Sure they would pop up but soon enough her work would forced them back to the depths of her subconscious. But once evening came and she closed up shop, the emotions would flood her again. Anger at him. Embarrassment of the deception she had been a part of. Frustration that she was still so affected by it. They had only known each other for a week, 3 days if you don’t count the time she was trying to arrest him. But those facts didn’t seem to matter to her. The way he spoke to her. Looked her in the eye and told her all of the wonderful things she wanted to hear. She had believed him genuine. She had trusted him.

      Most nights saw her lying awake trying not to think. Her eyes traces the cracks in her bedroom ceiling, trying to forget how he had made her feel. The joy he brought her in such a dark time in her life. She needed to forget him. Or she would drown. She already felt it hard to breathe whenever she passed the 5 Ave bookstore and the now familiar blue book covers. Her heart skipped a beat at every blue overcoat she saw and freckles made her chest ache. She needed to forget him. Needed something to occupy the hollow space in her heart. Or someone, as Queenie would often tell her.

      Achilles Toliver had been a transfer to the investigative team. After the loss of a few good Aurors to an out of state opportunity, Madame Picquery had decided that her team needed the bostering. Not that Tina minded. The team could always use the help and if his record was as impressive as rumored, he would only serve to make her job easier.

      She knew he had entered the MACUSA Auror pen without having to look up from her paperwork. There was a distinct hum and air seemed alive with intrigue. Voices hushed to excited whispers and eyes seemed to be fixed on the now open double doors. The tone of the room had changed so drastically that she was forced to set her paperwork aside and join her coworkers in their staring.

      The man before her was both everything and nothing like she imagined. His height was the first thing she noticed. He was incredibly tall, towering over even her impressive height. He strode through the pen with a strong confident gait of a man who has be nothing less than successful in his endeavors. His build was large, alluding the muscles that rippled underneath his starched white shirt. The sharp lines of his suit indicated the pride he took in his clothing, or more than likely, how he looked. The light of the mid-day sun shining through the windows made his flaxen hair shine like gold. But what Tina notice most was his eyes. Piercing blue eyes that she felt herself drawn to no matter what she did. Wherever she looked, she couldn’t help but be locked in to his commanding gaze. The azure crystals seemed wide as he took in the vast atrium that housed the Aurors at MACUSA. Wide but critical in nature. Scanning and filing away information that could be used for later. This was not unlike her own gaze whenever she entered a new environment. _A well trained Auror indeed._

      She watched as the female, and admittedly some male, members of the staff tittered as he walked by. And judging by the slight smirk he wore, he knew the effect he had on others. He approached with two other Aurors on the team and Tina found herself standing straighter as he approached. “Tolliver this is Auror Goldstein.” Auror Johnston nodded to the man, introducing him to Tina. She extended a strong hand to the new member and blue-eyed man met her for a firm handshake. Unexpectedly she found his hand quite soft and warm in hers.

      “Achilles.” he told her gently. “If were going to be working together I’d rather be on a first name basis.” There was a distinct spark in his eye as he spoke to her. The sort of look that may have been given to another of her sex but had thus far been foreign to her. Her stomach twisted not unpleasantly in response. Shaking her head she pumped his hand.

      “Tina then. Tina Goldstein” she responding, trying her best to be short and professional. He cocked his head as he released her hand.

      “Goldstein huh? I feel like I read that name somewhere.” he hummed, looking off to the middle distance. Tina sees the muscles in his neck flex as he thought. Blinking rapidly she willed her eyes to look at his face once more.

      “In the papers?” Johnston suggested. “She was part of the team that apprehended Grindelwald.” Achilles turned his gaze towards her, his eyes conveying a odd sense of prideful awe. Like he was seeing something new for the first time. She watched his eyes shift, if just slightly, to the rest of her person. He blinked as if remembering his place before returning his gaze to her eyes. Tina brushed the hair from her face to hide the flush creeping up her neck.

      “Well Tina.” The man finally spoke. “Seems you are everything Madame Picquery said you were. I look forward to working with you.” he smirked before heading towards the large double doors leading to the main atrium.

      “Welcome to the team.” she called, half-heartedly.

 

      Queenie was all a-titter when Tina recounted her day over dinner than night.

      “What do you mean it was nothing Teen?” he sister giggled. “He was practically undressing you with his eyes.” Tina rolled her eyes as set her fork down.

      “You’re being ridiculous.” she told her, exasperated. “He wasn’t undressing me. He was impressed with my work in the Grindelwald case. That’s all. And anyway how would you know? You weren’t there.”

      “Your thoughts. Not mine.” Queenie sing-songed over her glass of elf-made wine. Tina sent a glare across the table.

      “In my mind I said smirk. Not “undressing with his eyes”. “ Queenie hummed as she set her glass down on the table again.

      “Men don’t smirk when they’re impressed Teen.” Queenie hummed, sending her a smirk of her own. “They smirk when they’re interested.” At this Tina laughed out.

      “They do not!” She rose to take her plate to the sink. “But then again, you have the expertise here.” she hummed to herself.

      It was no secret that, of the two, Queenie had more luck with the boys. During their days in Ilvermorny Queenie was always the one people wanted to get to know. Her large doe eyes and bouncy blonde curls never failed to draw people in. On top of her looks generously gifted by their mother, Queenie’s natural sweetness made her even more likeable than before. And when she grew older, well, the boys were no strangers to Pukwudgie tower. She was beautiful, graceful and everything Tina was not. The older Goldstein sister’s limbs grew gangly rather than elegant. Her hair lay as limp and dull as her personality was. This combined with her overprotectiveness for Queenie had earned her the nickname “Bore-pentina” in her 6th year by Queenie’s various friends. A regular stick in the mud. A trait that had apparently followed her to adulthood. _Boring, plain and odd-looking_ she thought to herself. _No wonder he’s engaged_.

      “Now you stop that right now.” Tina snapped her head towards her sister, having barely enough time to wonder where her previous thought had come from.

      “Stop reading my..”

      “You’re so loud when you brood. You know that?” Queenie asked, walking towards her. “Those kids at school were just plain mean. You were never boring. And you aren’t odd looking.” The blonde rose her hands to silence the protest bubbling beneath the surface from the older witch. She tucked a dark lock gently behind her sister’s ear. “You got a pretty face and beautiful eyes Teen. You’re much prettier than you give yourself credit for.” The younger Goldstein looked down gently. “And you know it ain’t like that with Mr. Scamander.” Tina inwardly winced at the mention of the name. It was true that, while his memory never left her mind, the utterance of his name seemed to make fresh his deception. The healing scar had been picked at and the pain was just as it was before. “He probably had that lined up way before he met you. You can’t beat yourself up over this. It had nothing to do with you. He lied Tina. _He_ did. And he hurt you. But he won’t be the only fella lining up to be with you.”

      “Well I don’t see anyone kicking down our door to take me out.” Tina muttered ruefully, moving back towards the sink. She turned the tap to wash the soiled dishes. The mundane task promised a distraction from the current emotional tsunami that threatened to sweep her away.

      “You can’t keep selling yourself short like that Tina.” Queenie sighed, flicking her wand to command the dishes to wash themselves. Exasperated that her distraction was thwarted, Tina set glassy eyes on her sister “You’re not even givin’ anyone a chance here.”

      “Yeah? Well maybe they don’t deserve the chance.” Tina muttered as she brushed past her sister, making a beeline to their shared bedroom. She slid the double doors closed, sealing herself in. She let out a long, shakely breath as she pressed her forehead to the wood of the door. Her bottom lip quivered before she could bite it down. She felt the hot tears run down her cheeks before she even realized she wanted to cry. The pain was just as before. One mention of his name and she was back in the living room, the issue of Spellbound open and the scene re-playing in her head. Like a deranged love film, the images flashed before her. His profile in the light of the fireplace. The deep, ink headline. The gentle way he rocked when he stood before her. His posture next to his loving fiance. His green eyes as they bore deeply into hers, willing her to see when he was too shy to say. The aloof gaze at a still camera in a bookshop.

      She couldn’t shut it out. With all her skill with a wand she couldn’t force a simple memory to cease its torture within her. It overtook her and all she could do was let it take its course. Quickly changing from her work clothes into her nightclothes, Tina hurried beneath the covers of her bed. She turned to face the wall and turned out the light. In the dark no one could see her cry. She was free in the solitude and darkness of her bedroom. Sometime later Queenie would enter. She felt the weight of her sister’s gaze on her back but didn’t turn to meet it. She feigned sleep and Queenie was happy to go along with the rouse. After what felt like hours, tears gave way to exhaustion and Tina slipped into a restless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


	3. The Waters I Will Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update but I hope the longer chapter will make up for it!

          Days would pass before Tina began to feel some semblance of normalcy. After throwing herself into her work, the pain in her chest reduced to simply a dull ache. The memories began to develop a haze on them. The picture blurring before her eyes. Partly because she willed it so. Mostly because of the project she was placed in charge of. Shortly after being placed on the team, Tolliver had informed Tina that she was tasked with getting him acquainted with the way the Manhattan team conducted their business. While he had been well-trained in all things Auror and MACUSA related, he was woefully unprepared to handle the demands that Manhattan had to offer. From complex issues such as the diverse nature of the city to simple tasks like finding his way around ( _It’s a grid system Tolliver! It’s basic!_ ) Tina was there to guide and support him. If she was honest with herself, it wasn’t the worst assignment to be placed on. Achilles was a fast learner and always managed to make their assignments together entertaining. His experience with high-stress situations displayed itself during their mutual cases. He was quick to action, relying mostly on his intuition. To Tina’s continual frustration, his gut instinct turned out to be right more often than not. He had a calm air about him, Tina would often note, and always level-headed in times of stress. It was a helpful counterbalance to her often frantic energy. She always felt she learned a bit more with every case they took on together.

         The opportunities for professional development were not the only benefits to working with the new Auror. He was not, as Tina had learned from the first few moments of meeting him, horrible to look at. Of course she was the picture of professionalism when interacting with him. She had heard horror stories of Aurors who mixed the personal with the professional, often leading to uncomfortable Council meetings and cardboard boxes filled with their belongings. She shivered at the thought of having to explain that part of her life to Madame Piquery. She’d rather fight a Nundu single handedly than face that. However, in the comfort of her own thoughts she would admit to thinking less than professional thoughts about her new partner. Thoughts she would most certainly keep to herself. Well herself and Queenie but that could not be helped. In her most private moments of solitude she admitted to the queer way her stomach turned whenever she saw him. Not quite as strong as the butterflies that she’s felt before but it was enough to give her pause. Enough to make her think. Before her thoughts could expand a deep timbre broke her out of her reverie.

          “Just got a call in from the Seaport.” she heard him say as he approached her desk in the pen. Achilles swept his coat onto his shoulders.

         “Something about a goblin and a ring of smugglers?” he asked. Tina stood suddenly.

        “Gnarlak?” she asked, her face twisted into a scowl as her mind conjured up the memory. His filthy smile still made her sick to her stomach. Grabbing her own coat she brushed past him, eyes set in determination. “Let’s go.”

        The raid itself was fairly easy. Once the two arrived on the scene, Tina made a beeline for the familiar alley-way that she knew the goblin liked to hide. She hummed and lingered by the brick, waiting for the No-Majs milling about to walk by. She gave Achilles a look before walking through the hidden passage between the brick mortar. As soon as she was through, she immediately drew her wand. The warehouse, usually bustling with life, was strangely empty. The darkness was unnerving and the silence even more so. She turned back to Achilles who motioned to a dim light coming from around a corner in the back of the warehouse. Stealthy, the two made their way towards the dim light. Tina grimaced as she grew closer. The air closer to the light was heavy with the metallic scent of blood which made her stomach turn. As the duo approached the corner, they heard the guttural musings of the criminal Gnarlack. She turned the corner, wand ready, and found the goblin hunched over by a crate by the far wall. His misshapen hands were held tight about his midsection. His shirt was sodden with deep red blood. Tina stood before him.

         “Trade off didn’t go as planned?” She asked, never lowering her wand. The goblin chuckled darkly before looking up to meet her eyes.

         “Not exactly. Bunch of nature-lovin environmentalists.” he groaned as he sat up. “Set their beasts on me. Clawed me up.”

       “Well come with us. We’ll get you fixed up.” Tina told him, stepping closer. Gnarlack held up his hands and Tina tightened the grip on her wand. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Achilles straighten his stance.

        “The beasts may have taken my kidneys but they ain’t take my sense.” He told her dangerously. He sat up further, his eyes boring into Tina.

      “Come on now mack.” Achilles told the goblin. “We don’t wanna hurt you.” he warned, an edge to his voice. He looked up to Tina and the woman got the message left un-said. _But we will if we need to_. The next moment the goblin had snapped, sending green colored spells in their direction. Achilles snapped his wand up, artfully deflecting the spells cascading towards them. Simultaneously, Tina flicked her wand in Gnarlack’s direction, wrapping him in a thick twine of rope and thwarting his escape from the warehouse. The goblin groaned as he settled back on the floor. Tina hurried to drop a few beads of Dittany on his wounds to keep him stable. Gnarlack panted as the potion absorbed into his wounds.

       “What is this? A new crusade for you Goldstein?” he groaned as she pushed him into a seated position. “All about savin’ the animals now?” Achilles cocked a brow

        “You know this guy?”

       “Sure she does.” Gnarlack smirked. “Came around looking for me a couple months ago. But she had another fella with her. Strange guy. From across the pond. Got a little closer than expected.” His subsequent laugh turned to a coughing fit as Tina glared down at the goblin.

       “You better shut your mouth Gnarlack.” she told him dangerously. The goblin only smiled wider, his jagged, brown teeth on full display.

       “What’s the matter doll? Trouble in paradise?” Before he could say another word, a white cloth wrapped itself around his mouth. Tina lowered her wand and walked swiftly to the window. 3 white signal spells lept from her wand. “MACUSA will be here soon. You can continue your conversation with them.” she told him.

 

      As soon as Gnarlack was safely in MACUSA custody, Tina made a swift exit of the warehouse, eyes trained to the floor. Achilles fell into step beside her, his shoes snapping against the cobblestone . “Past case of yours?” he asked after a few moments of silence. Tina nodded swiftly, stopping at a crosswalk. She looked to the cars passing by and sighed.

       “We were looking for information. And he called MACUSA on us. We barely made it out.”

      “We?” Achilles asked, looking to her profile.

      “Me and uh...the uh…” Tina shook her head, willing the swell of emotions to tamper in the pit of her stomach. The Blind Pig was where she had first opened up to him, however briefly. His eyes so sad and full of sympathy for the young Credence. She always considered it the beginning, the first time she had felt the stirring of butterflies.

     “Brit.” Achilles finished for her, tearing her away from her thoughts. She went to walk as the light changed but felt a firm hand on her arm instead. When she looked up she was met with azure blue filled with concern. Perhaps she had not be as subtle in thoughts as she had believed. “Listen,” he began. “You know the paperwork is gonna be a mess with this. And I don’t know about you but I could use a drink beforehand. Why don’t we stop in for one before we head back?” His words were casual but Tina had always been good at reading people. He was insistent, almost imploring, in his offer. He offered her an escape. A chance to relax rather than throw herself into work, where she would try to bury herself. Perhaps he was able to read people well too.

       “Sure.” she managed. His smile could have lit up the sun. He gestured with his neck to the corner and Tina followed.

 

       The Tuck Room was a small little tavern house on Fulton Street. The band playing in the corner over the hum of the diners made the room alive with a sense of promise. Of what, Tina wasn’t exactly sure. They were seated in a quiet corner of the tavern, close enough to be a part of the action but far enough to hear each other speak. As soon as she was seated, Achilles was looking towards the bar. “What’s your poison?” he asked her. Tina thought for a bit.

        “I won’t say no to a Lobe Blaster.” she hummed with a shrug. She chuckled as his eyebrows disappeared into his hairline.

        “A Lobe Blaster?” he asked, a small smirk slowly forming on his face. Tina returned his gaze with a lifted brow of her own.

       “What?” she mused.

       “Nothing. Just...dames rarely go for the high ballers.” he told her, standing up. He shook his head as she began to count out her bills. “No no. Your money’s no good here.” Tina voiced her protest as the man backed away. “Sorry. I don’t make the rules!” he called before turning and walking to order. Tina couldn’t help but chuckle gently as she put her money back into her purse. She watched from across the room as the man seemed to make fast friends with the barkeep. The two seemed to whisper consipitorily before the barkeep sent his gaze toward her. Her eyes were narrowed when Achilles returned with the drinks. Under her gaze he looked guilty but positively nonplussed.

        “What are you up to?” she asked him, sipping the drink.

       “Why would you think I’m up to something?” Achilles shrugged, his smile hidden by the lip of his glass. He set the glass down on the table. “I was merely asking him what was kosher here.” Tina was taken aback.

       “How did you…”

     “Lucky guess.” Achilles shrugged. “You also never eat from the commissary. You always bring food from home.” Tina shook her head and sipped her drink, a small chuckle bubbling in the pit of her stomach. She sent the glass down and faced him head on.

      “Well I have some lucky guesses for myself Mr. Dairy Intolerant.” His answering look was a mixture of mirth and inquisition. “You never take cream in your coffee.” She offered.

       “I could just like the taste of black coffee.” He countered, blue crystals boring into her. Her own dark pools never faltered.

       “Then why do you add 10 sugars?” She hummed. He nodded, impressed, while she sat back with her own satisfied smirk.

     They sat in companionable silence for a bit. As they sipped their drinks Tina watched Achilles’ eye slip into the middle distance. The azure deepened as his gaze grew more pensive, as if contemplating a move. Weighing one option over the other. She started when he sat up suddenly, apparently coming to some sort of conclusion. Deliberately, he set his drink down on the table and looked to his companion.

      “Forgive me,” He began “if I come off a little forward.” Tina immediately set her drink down, the hairs on the back of her neck rising ever so slightly. “But I think you’re the type that appreciates a little boldness every now and again.” Her mind reeled as she thought of where he could be going with this. She tried to read his expression however his face was uncharacteristically blank. He was unsure of his own next move. Which, if she was honest, unnerved her more than his words. She narrowed her eyes.

      “Yeah?” She asked, imploring him to continue. He took a breath

      “Would I be wrong in assuming that there’s no Mr Goldstein?” _At least he didn’t mince words_ , she mused to herself. Tina could only shake her head, picking at her nails. She went to add to her answer but found  he wasn’t finished. “Or any other fellas?”

      Tina took a sharp intake of breath, her mind conjuring up a thousand images at once. Shy smiles, rust colored curls, strong hands encircled by dark blue feathered tendrils. She bit her lip and closed her eyes, willing the memories away. When she opened them again, the expression on the man before her had changed from curiosity to contrition.“I’m sorry.” He told her quickly. “I didn’t mean to pry I just..”

      “No.” She interrupted. “No it’s….it’s fine.” She took another large sip from her drink. The glass was looking to be more half-empty than half-full. “No there’s….there’s no fella. Hasn’t been one in a bit. ” She hummed, wondering why she felt the need to add that last part. Rather than explore that thought, she fixed her attention on Achilles. “What made you ask that?”

       “Something the goblin said.” He told her honestly. “ “Trouble in paradise” is what he said. Made me think that there was…”

       “There wasn’t.” Tina told him, perhaps a bit more forcefully than she had intended. “He was just helping me with the Grindelwald case. That’s all.” Realization dawned on Achilles’s face.

       “That’s right. There was a guy in the report too. Something with an S. Scan….Sala….”

       “Scamander.” Tina said gently. She finished off her drink and set the empty glass on the table.

       “That’s it.” He chuckled. “Scamander.” He smiled to himself. “Yeah. The report said he was a little bit odd.”

      “He isn’t odd.” Tina told him, a bite in her voice she attributed to the Lobe Blaster. The color rose in her cheeks as she added “He just sees things in ways other people don’t.” Remembering herself, Tina deflated into her seat and called for a glass of water. To his credit, Achilles never flinched.

        “Well I don’t know the guy. You’re probably right though.” He hummed, finishing off his drink. “The best people are the most misunderstood.” He met her gaze with an understanding and a kindness she had never seen before. His eyes were warm and filled with something she couldn't quite place. _He wasn’t just talking about Newt_. Tina could only nod, gulping down her water.

 

        After paying the check, Achilles made his way out onto the street. Tina tied the belt to her leather trench tighter about her waist.

       “Let’s get back. Start on that paperwork.” She sighed.

       “It won’t be that much.” Achilles shrugged. “I’ll do it. Head home.”

       “Achilles..” She began. “No reason for us both to suffer.” He chuckled. “Go home and see your sister. She deserves to see your face at least one night this week.” She nodded and sent him a smile.

       “Thanks.”

       “You can pay me back later.” He winked and Tina rolled her eyes. Achilles looked to his left. “Now Water street is this way?” He hummed

      “Other way!” Tina smirked, watching him go. He sent her a final toothy grin before disappearing behind a parked truck to Apparate back.

 

      As the late afternoon glow gave way to the early blues of twilight Tina chose to walk home rather than Apparate back. That afternoon’s events had left her dizzy and she couldn’t possibly had blamed it all on the Lobe Blaster. Her time at the tavern had solidified her belief that Achilles was full of surprises. She had never come into contact with someone with such a clear and focused interest in her. Though her limited experience in the matter would suggest otherwise, she did know the signs of interest. She’d seen it enough in the actions of the men that inhabited MACUSA and in the gazes of the gentlemen that would call on Queenie from time to time. She knew the looks and the subtle ways the other sex showcased their affections. She simply never thought those looks would be directed towards her. _Not until recently_ , a sneaky voice in her head whispered, but the voice was gone with the shake of her head.

      Of course there was the possibility that Achilles’ interest in her had a different motivation. Professional accomplishments could certainly be gained in getting close to her. And he could simply just want a friend in the department. But there was an edge to him that she simply could not ignore. The way he looked when he thought she wasn’t looking was enough to quell any ideas that his intentions were platonic. And enough to stir strange emotions in her.

       Tina was never the girl who sought out the approval and veneration of others. She never seemed to mind that she faded into the background. Years of doing good work behind closed doors had meant that she was used to the ignorance. Most people seemed to pass her by without notice. No one ever saw her. And for awhile she convinced herself that that was what she wanted. That frank appraisal and bold attention was unnecessary, embarrassing even. She began to believe that those who were direct were not the ones she wanted near her.

       Until now

       She couldn’t help the stirring that she felt whenever eyes were on her. The praise she received for things she did well in her station still caused a pink flush to rise up her neck, but the flush was accompanied by a swelling in her chest. And this afternoon spent with her new partner proved to be equally as galvanizing. Rather than finding his gaze intimidating, she found herself craving it. She seemed to blossom under the attention that he gave her. The way he seemed to always look at her with an impressed smirk. Like he was discovering yet another reason to pursue her every time she spoke to him. It was wrong, to think of his appraisal so frankly, but Tina found she didn’t care. Sure it was unprofessional. Sure he may be taking advantage of his situation slightly. But he had chosen her. Out of all the girls at MACUSA. Out of every possibility. He chose her.

       And she liked it.

      She took the steps up to her apartment two at a time. She hummed a tune as she made her way towards her door, smiling all the way. She could only imagine what Queenie would say when she told her on the days events. Her grin would disappear as the door opened to her living room.

      In her peripheral vision she saw the form of her sister, jumping from her position on the couch. Though her movement was sudden, Tina’s unbroken focus was on the familiar form seated on her couch. The man’s eyes were saucers as his throat bobbed in fear.

      “Hey Tina.” Jacob Kowalski muttered, throat dry. Tina’s eyes were narrow as she shut the front door, anger replacing the giddy feeling from just moments ago. “Queenie...Queenie found the shop I own.” he began, voice shaky. “Turns out I remember everything because…”

       “I think you should go Jacob.” Tina told him, tone sharp and eyes hard. The man was off the couch before she could finish. Queenie moved to embrace him but stopped short at Tina’s glare.

      “See you Queenie.” he muttered before grabbing his coat and heading out. Tina closed the door behind him, taking a moment to breath deeply. Behind her Queenie hurriedly began her explanations.

       “Tina I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be home this early.” the blonde told her, her voice trembled slightly but there was a building strength to it. “He won’t tell anybody he remembers. Madame Piquery doesn’t have to know anything and…”

      “Have you lost your mind?” Tina asked, finally turning to face her sister. Queenie’s former sentence died on her lips and her eyes grew wide. Tina’s sharp tone had not changed. “Do you have any idea what could happen to you if you’re caught?” she asked. Her eyes bore into Queenie’s, imploring her to answer. Queenie’s small but unmistakable “Yes” caused Tina to let out an exasperated sigh and massaged her temples.

      “Queenie I don’t understand. You have more sense than this. I know you do.” she told her. “Why?” she asked. “Why him when you could have anyone else? Someone that wasn’t going to get you arrested?” But Tina knew the answer before she ever said a word.

       “I love him.” Tina crossed the room with another exasperated sigh of her sister’s name. “Why is that so crazy?” Queenie challenged suddenly. “Why can’t I fight for what I want? Everyone else in this world gets to”

       “Most of the time people don’t want something that’s illegal.” Tina told her.

       “That law is balled up and you know it!” Queenie exclaimed.

       “You think anyone’s gonna care about that when they throw you in a cell?!” Tina snapped. Queenie sighed and shook her head.

       “You don’t gotta worry about that Teen. Jacob and I, we’re gonna be real careful.” she told her. “Honest.” Tina nodded and looked to her.

       “Yes you are.” she began. “Cause you’re not gonna see him again.” she told her, standing firm. Queenie’s face twisted in anger.

       “And who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do?” she challenged. “I can make my own damn decisions!”

       “Obviously not!” Tina fired back. “Obviously I have to cause you seemed to have left your brain at the cleaners!”

       “Oh and your so much better off?” Queenie chuckled ruefully. “At least I put my heart in the right place. At least I’m not holding a candle for a fella who probably doesn’t even remember my name!”

        Tina reeled back as if she had be struck. Her eyes immediately grew glassy as betrayal warped her features. She turned quickly, hiding the trail of hot tears from her sister. She didn’t see the look of shook on the young blonde’s face as she covered the mouth that betrayed her sister. Couldn’t possibly have known the soul-crushing guilt that gripped her heart. Barely heard the pained and apologetic whisper of her name. She turned quickly, Disapperating out of her apartment and into the night, leaving her sister alone with her thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! As always kudos and comments are greatly appreciated!


	4. I Touched and I Was Burned

        The first time Tina Apparated without a destination had been on her first raid with MACUSA. Once the team had gotten to that section of the park they had realized that they were outnumbered. In the chaos her supervisor told her to head out. She apparated without a thought. After the twisting, pulling sensation that left her head spinning and stomach flipping, she found herself back home. Right where she felt safest. Where she felt she belonged. 

        Tina gasped as she felt her feet hit solid ground. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her back to a nearby wall, willing her head to stop spinning. Breathing deeply, she slowly opened her eyes and took in the dark corridor she had found herself in. Casting a quick lumos told her that she was in the deepest bowls of the Woolworth building. She sighed and made her assent to the familiar hallways and offices of MACUSA. She could understand why her first thought was to head there. In her emotional state she craved safety, predictability. Someplace that she knew would never change or turn on her. It would always be there. As she turned another corner she slowly began to realize where she was in the building. Fear began to rise in the pit of her stomach as she took in the slate archways and dark corridors. 

        This had been her escape. Running from the very officers she called friends. Rushing away from what could have been her last moments on this Earth. What should have been her last moment. If it were not for a freckled Brit and his strange pets. A memory that used to fill her with adrenaline and a sense of excitement now only filled her with dread. Her head pounded as she made her way towards the exit. Her vision seemed to narrow as she struggled to breathe. Reaching the familiar stairway to the main atrium, Tina scrambled up, taking the steps two at a time. She continued her journey, as if on autopilot, towards the only space truly familiar. 

        The lights in the auror’s pen were dimmed, alluding to the late hour. But Tina paid it no mind. She made a beeline for her desk, willing her feet to go faster. She presses her palms to the cool chestnut wood and breathed deep. She felt the calm slowly leach into her mind. The painful memories dissolving into vapors in her mind’s eye. She was here. She was safe. No one was going to harm her. 

        “Goldstein?” she heard a voice call out. Whipping her head around, her eyes were met with his familiar cobalts. Achilles rushed to her, setting the file in his hand down on her desk. His face was etched with concern as he scanned her for signs of distress. “What is it?” he asked her softly. Tina’s shook her head gently, not meet his worried gaze. 

        “I’m fine.” she told him. 

        “You’re shakin like a leaf Tina.” He told her. She looked down and found that she could not stop the tremors in her hands. She felt his warm, strong hands on her forearms as he lead her to her chair. The old wooden chair whined in protest as she collapsed into it. “What are you doing here?” 

        Tina closed her eyes and breathed deeply. Her momentary panic had been enough to make her forget the events that had just unfolded in her apartment. But now the memory was back with full force. The look on her sisters face as she cut her deep with the words she feared the most would not be something Tina would likely to forget. As with all things, Queenie was her confidant. She knew all the ins and outs of her mind and knew what would hurt her the worst. Tina wasn’t sure what upset her the most: hearing the very thought she’d been trying to bury for weeks from the one person she trusted or that fact that Queenie was right. 

        As much as it pained her to admit, Newt probably rarely gave her a second thought. Why would he? With the success of his book and his upcoming nuptials, why on Earth would he spare a thought for the odd American Auror he had met on his latest trip? Their interlude was probably a small part of a larger adventure for him to detail in his next book. Just another daring exploit in the exotic man’s life. Yet it had been the most exciting and intoxicating thing to happen to her. Her eyes were opened to a new world and a new way of thinking that she would have never discovered on her own. He was a novel on her shelf while she was merely a chapter in his book. But despite her continuing emotions and hurt feelings, she still counted their time together as one of the best in her life.  

        A slight squeeze of her shoulder blade brought her back to reality. She looked up to the man before her, realizing that she hadn’t given him any answer. She could see the apprehension building in his expression, his worry evident on his face. 

        “I’m fine.” Tina sighed. “Just had a fight with my sister.” Achilles sat on the edge of her desk, gesturing for her to continue. “I came home and she was with this guy. She had been out with him before but….he’s not someone she should be seeing.” Achilles’ face hardened slightly. 

        “What did he do?” Tina immediately shook her head. 

        “No no. Nothing like that. He’s not a bad guy just….not for her.” The man relaxed a bit, comforted that there’s no threat to the younger Goldstein’s safety. Tina chewed the inside of her cheek as he stared her down. 

        “You said you guys fought?” Achilles prompted, guessing that that was truly the heart of Tina’s emotional state. 

        “We did.” She told him, quieter than she would have liked. “She was upset that I told her that she shouldn’t see him. And she said some things…” Achilles nodded, understanding what went unsaid. He thought for a bit, considering his next words. 

        “I’m sure she didn’t mean it. She was upset and probably wanted to make you feel upset too. From what you told me you and your sister are real close. I doubt she really wanted to hurt you.” he told her softly. Tina nodded, knowing deep in her heart that he was probably right. Queenie had most definitely not meant to hurt her. She could bet almost all the money in her wallet that Queenie was home, beating herself up over what she had said. But that didn’t stop the words from replaying in her mind. Or the wounds from opening with each repetition of the phrase. 

        “I know.” She told him. She felt his warm hand slip into hers and felt her breath catch in her chest. For the first time that night she stopped and considered her surroundings. The pen was truly empty, signifying how late Achilles had been working. On the the paperwork for their case no less. He had let her go to rest. Sacrificed his downtime for hers. And sparing a glance at the discarded file on her desk, she realized that he had halted his progress to tend to her. He had dropped everything at an instant just to ensure that she was alright. 

        He cared for her. In much more than a professional sense, Tina realized. Or else he wouldn’t have bothered. Wouldn’t have taken his time out to comfort her. The realization bubbled in the pit of her stomach, threatening to burst forth. But Tina couldn’t truly say how she felt about it. While he was an alluring prospect, she couldn’t help the small tugging feeling in the corner of her mind. Pulling her towards unknown waters. Or rather waters she’d rather not name. Across the seas, in a world not her own. Tina mental shook herself from that thought. It wasn’t possible. He didn’t want her. And he wasn’t suffering from this. He wasn’t spending nights lying awake, thinking where he went wrong. Why he wasn’t enough. She was the one that was hurting. And if she was honest with herself she was sick of it. 

        Sick of feeling low and beating herself up over something that wasn’t her fault. Feeling sorry for herself was never her style and the pitiful looks from those involved enraged her. She was stronger than the need to feel validated. She was worth more than the treatment that she was given. She deserved more that the past few weeks. And she needed to take what she deserved. 

        “Let’s go out.” Tina blurted into the space between them. The air was thick with tension as Achilles processed her statement. He was silent for so long that Tina doubted that she had said anything at all when he cleared his throat and met her eyes. 

        “What?” he asked her. Tina took a deep breath. 

        “Let’s go out. It’s a Friday night. I’m sure we can find a place to go.” The brazen confidence of her beginning statement diminished with every word she spoke. “I haven’t been out in a while and I….don’t feel like going home.” Achilles sighed and let his eyes slip towards the discarded file folder on the desk. 

        “Well I guess if I am going to be on the streets I should know the hang out places.” he told her, giving her a sly smirk that bloomed a smile on her own face. Her confidence grew again “You know. For research.” Tina chuckled. 

        “Have to know where the dastardly criminals are.” Tina nodded. Achilles chuckled and stood up from the desk. 

        “I take it you know a place. Cause I’m useless in these streets.” Tina smiled, standing as well. 

        “I do. You’ll be safe with me.” she told him. She brushed her hair back behind her ear. “Let me just...change and we can go.” 

        Stepping into the nearby ladies room, Tina quickly began to change to clothing better suited for a night out. She drew her wand, pointing the tip towards her temple. Her eyes fell shut as she concentrated on the spell she had only used a handful of time. The image in her mind was as clear as a picture. Dragging the wand down she felt her heavy trench dissolve into lighter fabric. Her thick argyle socks transformed themselves into delicate hose and her practical work shoe thinned to a more feminine t-strap heel. When she opened her eyes, she immediately looked down to admire her work. The color of the drop-waisted dress was the exact shade of navy that she had pictured. She fingered the intricate inky black beading on the fabric and smiled proudly. When she lifted her head she was struck by the face staring back at her. As with her clothing, her hair had changed. The slight frizz from the days work had been replaced with glossy curls that framed her rounded, pale face. The shadow around her eyes was darker than she ever would have dared normally but the most alarming change came when Tina noticed her lips. Rather than the pale neutral that she had envisioned, her lips were stained a deep red. She gingerly touched a finger to her bottom lip, transferring some of the color onto her finger. The stain was almost blood-like against the skin of her fingers. She looked back to the mirror and blinked rapidly. She looked stunning and striking and not at all like herself. 

_         Well _ she thought with a hum  _ perhaps it’s time for a change of pace _ .

        She quickly exited the ladies room and walked to meet Achilles in the main lobby. His back was turned to her as she descended the stairs. The rustling of the beads on her gown alerted him of her presence. He turned to face her, a smart comment playing on his lips but stopped short when he saw her. His expression turned to awe as he blinked. A thrill ran up Tina’s spine as she blushed slightly.  _ So that’s what being stunning feels like.  _

        “You uh….you look amazing.” he told her after a time.

        “Thanks.” she chuckled, tucking her beaded clutch under her arm. “Shall we go?” 

        “We shall.” Achilles responded, holding out his arm. She looped her own arm around his and the two apparated together. 

 

        The Billywig was an upscale speakeasy on the Upper East side that was often filled with the rich and influential of the wizarding community. It was always an adventure as to who you’d see sipping a drink or cutting a rug at any given Friday night. Sliding through the entrance, hidden in a broken down Model T, the pair were immediately entranced by the sights and sounds of the dance hall. The swinging jazz music covered the hum of revelry as the two walked through, exploring the scene. Tina smiled as the smoke from dozens of pipes swirled and formed different shapes, all dancing to the beat of the horns and drums. They quickly found a tall table by the bar and settled there. After Achilles returned with their Lobe Blasters he took a look around to the lavish hall. 

       “So not quite where the dastardly criminals hang out.” he hummed. Tina sipped her drink and set it down. 

       “Different kind of criminals.” she hummed. She looked about and motioned to the back wall. “See that man over there laughing with the two blondes? Arrested and charged 38 times for embezzlement but he always seemed to get acquitted.” She looked about again, pointing to a red haired woman in a daring black dress. “She owns one of the biggest bordellos in the city but Aurors can never catch her. She has a “way with the investigators”. There are rumors that she’s part Veela.” Achilles nodded as he began to get the idea. 

        “More of a high class bunch then?” 

        Tina nodded and Achilles sat back, watching the room. Soon his eyes drifted towards Tina. The woman looked back, the warmth flooding her cheeks.

        “What?” 

        “You really look beautiful.” he smiled to her. Tina smiled into her drink, taking another sip. She couldn’t recall the last time someone had called her beautiful. Probably Queenie. A sharp pang of sadness hit her chest and she swallowed more of the Lobe Blaster to wash it down. Achilles took her hand on the table, ready to inquire the sudden change in his date when the music switched to a lively tune. Tina perked up slightly, looking towards the band. 

        “Wanna dance?” Achilles asked, caressing her hand gently with his thumb. Tina looked back at him and smiled slightly. 

        “Sure.” 

        Achilles took her hands as he lead her to the dance floor. Tina smiled almost sheepishly. 

        “Now I have to warn you. I’m not very good.” she began but gasped as he spun her into his arms. She braced herself against his chest with a chuckle. 

        “Then let someone else lead for once.” Achilles smirked. Tina rolled her eyes playfully as the couple began their dance. The jazz swung and whipped the two into a frenzy, bouncing and spinning about the floor. By the end of the song both were breathless and grinning from ear to ear. Tina and Achilles joined the other dancers on the floor in a round of a applause for the talented musicians. When the music started up again, the tune was much slower. The melody was simple and light, lending itself to a softer, more intimate dance. Tina felt him pull her closer  and she didn’t bother to resist him. The two began to sway gently, her left hand on his shoulder and her right locked with his left. They stood silent for the majority of the dance, only breaking to make small comments on the music or the atmosphere. As had been the norm for the past few weeks, it was Achilles that broke the silence first. 

        “Listen I’m...I wanted to think you. For helping me get settled here.” he told her. 

        “It was nothing.” she replied gently. “Anyone would need help getting settled in an out of state transfer.” she smirked. Achilles bit back a smirk at her old joke. 

        “I’m from Staten Island!” he reminded

        “Which might as well be another country!” Tina insisted. 

        “Will you let me finish?” he quipped good-naturedly. “I’m trying to get something out here.” 

        “Right sorry.” Tina hummed. “Proceed.” After a breath he continued, looking deeply into her eyes.

        “It was balled up getting transfered but in the end I’m glad I was. I got to meet you.” Tina was struck by his words, so honest and sincere. Her breath caught in her throat as she held his gaze. His eyes filled with that something she couldn’t quite place. As she replayed his words in her head she was suddenly filled with confusion and slight longing. She had heard those words before but not from the man before her. She thought back to her encounters, racking her brain for any hint as to why those words would be familiar. Her eyes began to fill with tears as the realization hit her. 

        It had been the first letter of his that she had received after he left. After detailing the steamer trip back to England, Newt had began to deeply reflect on his time in New York. He expressed his sorrow for the boy they had failed to save, the pride of helping bring Europe’s biggest criminal to justice and finally, the joy of making new friends. Characteristically he did not shy away from the more negative experiences he had while in the city but there was one thing that he was quite clear about 

 

_         Though the circumstances were less than ideal for one's first time in a foreign city, _ he had written  _ I cannot seem to conjure an ounce of regret for them. However trying those event were, they will always have a special significance. They led me to you Ms Goldstein.  _

 

        Tina had read that those lines over and over until she had committed them to memory. He had no regrets of their time together as he found their friendship to much more valuable. He’d do it all again if he had to, just to ensure he met her. Whenever Tina was upset or missing the man, she would return to that letter and her heart would be full again. 

        She was brought out of her reverie by the gentle brushing of a tear of her cheek. She looked up to Achilles, who continued to hold her. Yes Newt had expressed how much he valued her as a friend. How much he enjoyed their time. But he was gone now. And with him he had taken her hope, leaving a broken, hollow heart instead. Tina felt her bottom lip quiver as the familiar emotions of lost and heartbreak filled her but instead of allowing it to bury her she pressed herself closer into Achilles’ chest. To the solid form of the man who wanted her. Pursued her. Told her that she was beautiful. The very real man before her. Not a fantasy made of a naive girl’s hope. She wrapped her arms about his neck and felt his arms drop to her lower back. She wanted to forget him. Needed to forget the way he made her feel. She closed her eyes and for a fleeting moment saw his face. Clear as day she saw the mess of freckles beneath a reddish-brown fringe, smiling down at her. His image was the final push she needed as she pressed her lips to Achilles’. 

        She could tell the man was shocked but soon was responding in time. She leaned further into him, deepening their kiss. She nipped gently at his lip as she pulled back from him. She blinked but for a moment, she didn’t see his face. Didn’t feel his arms about her. All she saw was Newt. She let out a small huff of frustration and trailed her lips around Achilles’ jaw. In her mind’s eyes Newt was almost mocking in his smile. Like he knew her heart still belonged to him. His eyes were warm but he had taken on a edge to them, as if daring her to move on. Her lips blazed a trail up the man’s jaw to his ear. 

        But her heart was not his. It was her own. And she could do what she pleased with it. 

        “Take me home.” she finally muttered into his ear. 

        Achilles pulled himself back to scan her face, his hands never leaving her waist. His own mouth was twisted into a smirk as he scanned her face for jesting. His face fell when he found her to be sincere. 

        “You’re bent.” he told her. 

        “I’m not.” Tina told him quickly. “You know I’m not.” She looked to his chest, tracing light patterns on his shirt. “Please Achilles.” she all but whispered. She looked up to him, her eyes widen with question but alive with fire. She would not be deterred. She watched his throat bob as he contemplated his options. After what seemed like hours he pulled her impossibly closer. 

        “Let go home then.” 

 

        His apartment was much larger than she had expected. And much cleaner. Achilles gave her a small smile as they walked through his spacious living room towards the couch. Tina returned his smile but stayed silent. Once they had Apparated away from the The Billywig, the pair had fallen into silence. Neither one wanting to break the spell for fear that the other would back out of their current arrangement. She wanted to see this through. And she hoped that he did too. 

        Tina sat gingerly on the couch as Achilles made his way to the bar in the corner of his apartment. 

        “You want something?” he asked, pouring himself a scotch. Tina gently shook her head. 

        “I’m alright.” she told him. He nodded and sat next to her, sipping his drink. She looked to him and shifted slightly towards him. “So you liked The Billywig?” she offered. He nodded. 

        “I did. Seemed like a nice place. Classy.” he nodded. “But I will admit that I was distracted by the very beautiful witch next to me.” Tina flushed again and smiled. She settled even closer to him, leaning into his chest. His hands on her waist gave her the courage to press her lips to his once again. She sighed softly as his lips moved against hers. She weaved her arms around his neck, playing with the short hairs there.  He was the first to deepen their kiss, running his tongue against her lips as if asking permission. When she granted him access she felt rather than heard the groan that vibrated through his chest. She pressed herself closer to as she felt his hands drift lower on her back. She gasped gently as he lifted her slightly to lay her across his couch. 

        “This alright?” he asked her. 

        “Yeah.” Tina nodded. “Yeah I’m okay.” The man smiled and continued to kiss her before trailing his lips along her neck. As he nipped and pressed into her, she closed her eyes and tried to recall the last time she had done this. 

        While her list of experiences wasn’t lengthy, she was not totally in the dark about intimacy. Her first time had been with a boy from Ilvermorny the night before their graduation. He had been a close friend of hers that remarked how she couldn’t possibly enter into a large associated like MACUSA and still be a child. She needed to be a woman. The encounter had been short, unfulfilling and she had cried after he had left. Not for the lack of innocence nor for the feeling of violation, but for the lack of affection in the event. He had kissed her but merely as a perfunctory action. Simply because kissing was normally done during these things. Not because he wanted to but because he felt he had to. He didn’t care for her the way she thought a lover should. 

        As she grew older she realized that men rarely wanted to be true lovers. They wanted the physical part of intimacy but had no interest in the emotional portion of the act. Which, through her limited encounters as an adult, she found she had little interest in. Though Queenie was the more romantic minded of the two growing up, Tina was just as invested in the idea of love as her sister. She craved the intimacy that she had seen in other couples and even in her own parents. The passion of true love always drew her interest. She wanted that for herself. Wanted to know what it felt like to be so consumed by love and passion that you can think of nothing else. And she realized that if she didn’t have that love, that intimacy, she didn’t want any part of the act. She could not separate sex and emotion. They were useless alone, only working if they were presented in tandem. 

        She swallowed down that reality and all the implications of it as the pair moved to the bedroom. As clothing began to gather on the floor about the bed, Tina felt the tone of the room change. Her dress slipped to the padded carpet with a rattle of beads and she fought the urge to cover herself. She met Achilles’ gaze as he kissed her and cupped a bare breast in his hand. She moaned softly as he teased her nipple to a point but she was slower to respond to his kiss. She was suddenly too aware of what she was doing. Hyper fixated on her graceless movements, on his strong grip on her waist, on their kisses that seemed more perfunctory than they had in the beginning. She laid down on the soft down of his comforter and looked up to him. In his eyes was the same fire that she had seen in her own eyes earlier. The same passion she had felt yet now she could only vaguely remember what it felt like. She felt his fingers caress her hips and inner thighs and she shuttered, not from Achilles’ gentle touch, but from a  memory of another set of hands. His that were so calloused but so gentle as he comforted her about the boy they had lost. His touch had not been demanding but it ignited a fire within her that burned still. She shook her head, willing the image to recede into the depths of her mind. 

        She tried to feel Achilles’ hands as they caressed her skin. Willed herself to open her eyes to see the blue orbs staring back at her. She tried to melt into his large frame over her. But where there were smooth palms, she imagined callous. The frame was the same lean frame that pressed against her in her dreams. And the eyes she saw in her mind were the same sharp green ones that she had yearned to see ever since that cold December morning on a dock. Even as the man in her reality filled her, rocking deeply within her, she could not help but think about Newt. How he would feel above her. How he would be strong but gentle, like he had been during their adventures. He’d know just how to pleasure her, just what to do to make her feel safe and loved. 

        Her time with Achilles had not lasted much longer after that. While he had found his pleasure, moaning and sighing into the skin of Tina’s neck, the same could not be said for the woman he had bedded. In the end Tina exaggerated her own finish, panting and gasping to ensure his feelings would not be hurt. After cleaning herself up Tina lay under the covers, claiming that she was simply too tired to speak. The man had agreed and after depositing his arm over her waist was soon snoring into his pillows

        As Tina laid awake staring at the ceiling, she felt the weight of her guilt on her chest. Guilt and embarrassment at what she had done. She had remembered  what it felt like, being the willing participant with an uninvested partner. It had hurt. She had felt the sting of indifference in her most vulnerable of moments. Yet here she was on the other side. She was the one who was perfunctory, who’s heart wasn’t in fully in the action, who had used someone else’s body for their own purposes. The purpose made her sicker than the act had. She had used Achilles, a perfectly good, perfectly kind man, to bury the desire for another. But desire could not be buried. Nor could it be conjured into existence, as she had learned that night. Love was not something that you had control over. It came when it wanted to. And Tina did not love Achilles. She knew that now. She had learned that she found the attention he lavished her with was more alluring than the man himself. But that was not fair to him. Not when he had nothing to do with her situation. He had no idea how she felt but she had used him all the same. 

        Looking over to the sleeping man, she gently removed his arm from her waist. She watched him roll over, stirring gently but not waking. As quick and as silent as a cat, she slipped from the bed and gathered her clothing. She dressed and walked gingerly to the door. Sparing one last guilt-riddled glance to her bedmate, she swiftly disappeared into the city just beginning to wake. 

 

        When she returned home, dawn had already begun. Bright rays covered her small apartment in shades of gold. As the door swung open Tina’s eyes were immediately drawn to her sister. The younger blonde snapped her head towards the door and rose to her feet. Tina noted that she was still in her nightgown but the rings around her eyes told her that she hadn’t slept all night. If she could take a guess, Queenie had probably sat on that couch and worried for her all night. Tina couldn’t meet her sister’s eyes, the guilt bubbling up from the depths. She doubted Queenie even had to use her gifts to know what had transpired during the night. It was written all over her face. When she finally met her sister’s gaze, Tina saw sorrow reflected in Queenie’s wide blue eyes. 

        “Oh Teenie.” she muttered gently. Suddenly the dams broke and Tina felt hot tears welling in her eyes. She covered her mouth as she sobbed out, tears running down her face. She felt her sister’s arms about her, guiding her to sit. She sobbed out, finally letting out all the pent up sorrow, anger, frustration and guilt that had been building for weeks. One simple phrase repeated itself countlessly in her mind. 

        “It’s not fair.” she muttered, tears muddling her voice. “It’s just not fair. He’s a liar. And a scoundrel but I just can’t stop myself from thinking about him. I see him everywhere I go. His words are like...like a curse on repeat. I can’t even go out with a perfectly good man without him crossing my mind. He’s miles away, living a whole other life. Why can’t I forget him?” Queenie gently brushed the tears from her cheeks with a sad smile. 

        “Cause you love him honey.” She told her simply. Tina’s inhaled and shook her head. 

        “I knew him for a week Queenie. How could it be love?” She asked. Queenie’s eyes settled on her own hands. 

        “It could have been a day. It could have been an hour. It wouldn’t have mattered. We can’t control when it comes or who it leads us to.” 

 

        Tina spent much of the days that followed studiously avoiding Achilles in MACUSA. This prospect was fairly easy as the two had been assigned to separate cases that next month. They were mostly like ships in the night, passing without so much as a smile or wave. Tina knew she had hurt him with her hasty exit that fateful morning and her lack of contact afterwards. She knew she should apologize to him but she could never find the courage. She hide in her own cowardice, preferring to the be the girl that ignored him rather than be the girl that hurt him. She thinks that she might write him a letter, always finding it easier to express herself in writing, however she doesn’t get the chance. Tina is called into Madama Piqueries office and, in the same day, is sent off to Paris for a covert assignment. Queenie helps her to pack but the two part tensely as the blonde reveals her plan to marry Jacob in Europe. Tina takes herself to the docks that morning, suitcase in hand, ready to board the steamer that would take her away to her new adventure. She stands and waits in the same place she had stood not 6 months ago. She was an entirely new woman, hardly recognizing the girl that bid farewell to the strange Magizoologist that torn through her life like a mad thunderstorm. Rather than hopeful, cautiously optimistic. Rather than charmed, resigned. Rather than simply having an inkling of her feelings, fully aware of the complex emotions of her heart. She was still not healed from her hurt. The pain of her realizations still ached in her soul. But through it all, through every challenging emotion or painstaking realization, she would persist. As she always had. She knew no other way but to move forward. To continue on in the hopes that tomorrow will be easier than the day before. As the steamer set off, the familiar buildings and skyline began to fade from her view. She closed her eyes and released a deep breath. She looked then to the horizon and to the better, more joyous tomorrow in promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Your comments and kudos really kept me going. Stay tuned for the Epilogue! As always kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.


	5. Epilogue

_ London, 1945 _

 

        Tina had never seen so many people in her entire life. The streets were filled to the brim with both no-majs and wizard kind alike, all with joyous expressions and cheers on their lips. It was a celebration that they would not soon forget. The war had ravaged everything. Any bystander could see the damage and rubble that filled the familiar city streets. But amidst the chaos and turmoil, there was joy. They had won. In the world of No-Majs, the fight against fascism had proven victorious. The villain that threatened to tear the world apart had vanquished himself and all that was left were the dreadful, haunting memories. While she did still care very much about the struggle in the non-magical world, for both public and personal reasons, Tina’s own lightness on that day was attributed to a different victory. 

        The war had been har. Grindelwald and his followers evaded them at every point, as if he knew their every move. They had fought tirelessly to bring an end to his torture on the world but his demise had been met in a much simpler fashion that expected. Rather than an army, one man had taken down the most notorious criminal. The one that could never move against him. The one that fought his own emotions and helped to put an end to his reign of terror. And in almost an instant, it was over. The war had been won and now was the time for reconstruction. Rising like a phoenix from the ashes of devastation to build a new world. And for most of the individuals involved in the war, it was difficult to know where to start. 

        It was easy to forget what life was like before the war. Thoughts of peacetime were so removed they were almost foreign. Hopes and goals that were not centered around the end of the war seemed trivial in comparison. But that was all that was left. Those old forgotten goals from a time that seemed non-existent in it’s distance from the present. It was hard to build a new life from nothing. Almost impossible to think of a new life. But the lucky ones did have a place to start. 

        Tina smiled gently at her companion as they walked arm in arm through the crowded streets. He held her close, knowing her slight aversion to large crowds. 

        “Are you alright love?” he asked her, his accent now familiar to her ears. 

        “Yes.” She nodded. “Perfect.” She watched as his green eyes crinkled slightly at the edges as his smile grew to a grin. She smiled back at him, taking him in. The years at war had been rough on the both of them. More often than not Tina found his eyes to be hollow and tired, a result of the lack of sleep. The circles that were frequent seemed to grow darker as the threat of annihilation continued to press down on them all. The hair around his temples had begun to take on a silvery tone and thin lines began to appear around his eyes. None of these were truly detrimental to his appearance, Tina noted. He was still incredibly handsome in his usual rugged and unkempt way. 

        She was not unchanged either. She found the same lines around her husband’s eyes when she looked at herself in the mirror. She ached more and was slightly slower in on the dueling field as she used to be. A sharp pain ran through the part of her arm that sat comfortably in it’s sling, reminding her of the consequences of hesitation in battle. Newt’s tentative hand on the small of her back and his inquiring gaze to her audible wince served to remind her that things could have been much worse.  

        And that not all the changes were damaging. Despite the hardships and struggle of the past few years, Tina had found that she had smiled more. Found more reasons to laugh and more opportunities to stop and marvel at the wonder that was life. She learned to breathe deeply and feel even deeper. She had learned to worry less and have more faith in both the people around her and in herself. She was much more introspective these day, remarking on how much she had changed these past few years. Each one held its own value and each attributed to the woman she had become but, if Tina were honest with herself, there was one change that she valued above all the others. A change that made itself known by the round, sapphire ring that sat on her left hand. 

        The ceremony was simple. There was, after all, still a war to be won when the two had decided to make their union permanent. It was a cold rainy day as they said their vows in the sitting room of Scamander Manor. Albus had officiated and Jacob had tearfully, though he adamantly denies it, gave her away. She had shed a few tears herself, not for nerves or even for happiness but for the empty seat where the younger Goldstein sister should have sat. But tears were quickly forgotten when she laid eyes on her betrothed. He had stood, in his best blue suit, facing the window, waiting until the very last second to set his gaze on his fiance. The look in his bright green eyes took her breath away. Anticipation gave way to awe as he took her in. Beautiful didn’t seem adequate to him. She was exquisite, a vision, and it showed all over his face. She saw the words forming in his mind though he kept a silent reverence. 

_          I don’t deserve you _ . She had held her head high as she approached him and proudly took his hands before their family and friends. Her eyes gave an answering statement.

_         I choose you and you are everything I will ever need.  _ As they stared deeply into each other’s eyes, the room fell away. It was simply the two of them standing there. So deeply in love that they could think of nothing else. 

 

        “Goldstein!” The voice caught Tina off guard. She shared a confused glance with her husband before scanning crowd for the voice that had called out to her. A name she had not been called in some time. “Goldstien!” it repeated, louder and closer this time. The crowd seemed to part before her as the man who shouted approached. He wobbled carefully but excitedly on crutches toward her. The woman beside him chuckled but helped him to maneuver the rough cobblestones. He was visibly bruised and battered, his leg casted in plaster. He was changed from when she last saw him but she could never forget that smile, that grin that seemed to light up the sun. And those eyes, so piercing and blue, that for a short time captivated her. 

        “Achilles?” she muttered in pure awe and disbelief. When he finally settled before her, panting gently from the exertion, he chuckled. 

        “By Morrigan it is you. Part of me doubted but when I heard about this ballbusting female commander organizing the front lines I knew it had to be this lady Auror from Manhattan. Though I hear you got a new name now.” Tina could help but chuckle with him, still in slight disbelief. 

        “I wish I would have known.” Tina told him. “Would have put you on a main team.” Achilles shook his head. 

        “I was on the team for the Beach Operation. I made out alright. Well sort of alright.” He smirked, motioning to his leg. 

        “It could have been a lot worse.” The woman beside him stated in a stern but affectionate voice. Tina looked up and smiled, taking in the woman that had accompanied the injured Auror. Achilles caught her gaze and moved gently in the woman’s direction. “Tina this is Marianne, my wife.” The two shared a small smile and Tina could help but beam. She turned and extended her hand, taking Newt’s. 

        “This is my husband Newt. Newt this is an old friend of mine. Achilles Tolliver.” As the men shook hands she saw a odd glint in Newt’s eye but her curiosity waned as Marianne’s eyes lit up. 

        “Newt? As in Newt Scamander?” She asked excitedly, pumping his arm with vigor. Seemingly remembering herself, she stepped back from their handshake. “I’m sorry. I’m a professor at Ilvermorny and, well I don’t teach Care of Magical Creatures, but I think your book could be a great textbook.” Newt, still slightly uncomfortable with praise and acclaim, nodded and was soon whisked away to chatter about his magnum opus. 

         In the silence Tina looked up to Achilles. Though it had been years and the feelings had dulled, she still felt the sharp stab of guilt in her chest. She had hurt him. And what was worse, she ran. She didn’t even pay him the courtesy of an explanation. Well, as she had learned in her years of experience, there’s no time like the present. 

        “Listen Achilles. I wanted to say I’m sorry for…” The man waved his hand, cutting her off. 

        “Nothing to be sorry about.” Achilles chuckled. “Sometimes things don’t work out.” He then have her a smirked. “And sometimes people run away to Europe.” Tina couldn’t help but flush with a smile, letting the good-natures jab rolling off her shoulders. Achilles chuckled gently before settling against a bench. “It’s alright. I….had a feeling you weren’t really wanting me.” Tina nodded. 

        “It was….complicated.” Achilles let out a chortle. 

        “You could say that.” He sighed. “But it was all for the best.” Tina lifted a brow in question and Achilles adopted a bashful smile she had never seen before. “A week after you and I….I met Marianne.” Tina smiled. The way he spoke of his wife made a warm glow seem to radiate from him.

        “You seem happy.” She told him.

        “I am.” Achilles told her honestly. “And I can see you are too.” 

        “I am.” Tina smiled. The image of her husband flashed before her. His bright grin as he tended to one of their many creatures. The gentle brush of his calloused hands on her cheek in the morning. The soft lilt of his voice when he told her he loved her. She was happy. The pain of years past nothing but a dull memory. She could have thanked him, for showing her comfort in her time of need. For pushing herself past her limits. For helping her become the woman she was now. But too much time had passed and she doubted that he would really appreciate it. So she settled for thanking him in her subconscious. And in an odd way she felt that he knew what she wanted to say all along. 

        As their spouses returned and the couples parted ways, Tina watched as Achilles and his wife shared a small kiss before rejoining the celebration. She turned her gaze to Newt and pressed her forehead to his, reveling in the thrill of their future and all the mad, wonderful adventures that awaited them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. This my first multi-chap so thanks for sticking in with me. Comments and kudos are, as always, much appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! The rating is for later chapters of the story but I left it just to be safe. Like always comments and kudos are much appreciated.


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